Rest In Peace, Mom
ANNA CHUNG TZU TSIEN YANG
Nov. 17, 1917 – Jan. 16, 2022
She decided it was time. After all, she outlived all her siblings and almost all of her friends. And we got to celebrate her 104th birthday last November, and then Thanksgiving and Christmas together. So just like that, she ascended in her sleep, in utter peace.
Not an ounce of bitterness, not an iota of regret, not a whiff of complaint in these many years. She was an utter delight to be with until the end. She savored her ice cream cones and slow-roasted pork, and most of all, time with family members. She never failed to recognize us kids, grandkids, or our cousin Jeannie who lived with her. And her face lit up each time she laid eyes on us. We spent many hours over mahjong, and then when she became more frail, I would hold her hand and we would sing songs she introduced to me as a child. Or sometimes she would just make up new ones.
In cleaning out her apartment recently, we found a trove of hand-written journal notes and letters with my Dad written on tissue-thin paper. (I’ve been reading the letters, VERY slowly – cursive Chinese script in traditional style!! Yikes.)
They start in 1944 when she first came over to this country by boat and continue through the decades chronicling a life that still feels unreal. Her wedding in the basement of a church at the University of Michigan in 1948 attended by a handful of classmates who were served cookies and tea; getting stranded in this country when her government stipend ran out due to a change in government; starting a plum job at the U.N., but then traveling to Paris for work while pregnant with her second child and getting very nauseous; and then suddenly having the opportunity in 1972 to visit China and be re-united with relatives after 38 years.
Despite being far apart from their families, and struggling with discrimination during the “Red Scare”, my parents managed to build a life rich with many friends and activities. My father being an engineer had quite the spreadsheet of rotations for their dance, mahjong and tennis groups. My mom in the meantime could host a dinner of 40 and deliver elaborate Chinese dishes piping hot.
I cannot overstate my mother’s influence on me, in ways that have only become more apparent over time. For starters were my visits to the U.N. and seeing everyone dressed in native garb. My mother naturally did as well. Every morning, she donned a Mandarin-collared, frog-buttoned, side slitted, tightly fitted silk dress! I would not last a day in one of those! But I loved helping her pick out the colorful silk fabrics on our frequent trips to Hong Kong and Taiwan. During those trips, she would bounce out of bed at the crack of dawn to chase down the best youtiao (fried crullers) to dip into doujiang (hot soymilk.)
I like to think I inherited her endless curiosity, and delight at new experiences. She did like to move furniture around a lot – lol -- but her adventurous spirit also meant many trips abroad.
My head spins thinking about how she juggled an exacting full-time job involving a long commute, then earning an MBA at night, three children, and an extremely active social life, all while settling into a brand new country.
What shocked us was how alert she was at all times. Sometimes we three kids would play trivia games – what was the name of the actor who played xxx on MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?? While we were scratching our heads, she always had the answer!
She just never missed a beat. She was just so damn quick on her feet, literally and then metaphorically, until the very end.
I love you to the moon, Mom. Thank you for the infinite number of treasured moments we’ve had with you. I will miss you forever. But I know you are truly, undeniably, resting in peace.
